“Might I,” quavered Mary, “might I have a bit of earth?”...“Earth!” he repeated. “What do you mean?”“To plant seeds in–to make things grow–to see them come alive,” Mary faltered. He gazed at her a moment and then passed his hand quickly over his eyes...“A bit of earth,” he said to himself, and Mary thought that somehow she must have reminded him of something. When he stopped and spoke to her his dark eyes looked almost soft and kind. “You can have as much earth as you want,” he said. “You remind me of some one else who loved the earth and things that grow. When you see a bit of earth you want," with something like a smile, “take it, child, and make it come alive.” “May I take it from anywhere–if it’s not wanted?”

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Mantra: "Just because it's not what you had in mind...

doesn't mean it's a bad thing."

I think I say this to B one hundred times a day. You see, with all his crazy diagnoses (we are now solidly sporting: RAD, PSTD, FAS, ADHD, ODD) there are some autistic-like behaviors that have been quite obvious. Both the neurologist and the geneticist blamed those behaviors on FAS. Anyway, B panics when things are not how he imagined them to be.

For instance, today the fam went to a restaurant for lunch, and then we went for a drive. B expected that we would eat and then go home so that he could play with his toys. Now, nobody mentioned this as a viable plan. This was simply what he thought should happen. When it did not, the anxiety started, manifested by chewing on his shirt, fingers and lips; heaving breathing; whining; and compulsive scratching. It took aromatherapy oils, deep pressure, deep breathing, snuggling, and the mantra to regulate him. I constantly ask him, "Are you going to die if it does not happen the way you expected? Are you going to be seriously hurt? Are you going to be without what you need? Are you in a safe place with safe people? Then, in the grand scheme of things, it's no big deal, right?" He realizes that I am not discounting what he is feeling, just helping him put it in perspective.

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